Perspective

I had one of those days yesterday when everything felt off. The kids were being fine, but I just didn't feel myself. Part of me recognized that this is just my body getting ready for labour which had me nervous, excited and slightly exhausted (already). After a day of feeling sorry for myself I was checking my twitter feed where I saw a blog being passed around by some people I followed. Often times Moms will retweet the blog postings of Moms in need of some encouragement. Usually these blogs are the product of post partum depression or just one of those days that we all have when we feel inadequate. I read them because I've felt overwhelmed in my life too and feel compelled to encourage these young, sleep-deprived Moms. We don't live in tight knit communities like we used to so the Internet is the new way to share, encourage, and vent. A simple status update on Facebook, tweet on Twitter, or blog post can remind us in seconds that we have a world wide community willing to encourage us and give us some much needed perspective.

But this blog was different. It was a young Mom in a situation I couldn't fathom: She's battling cancer. From what I could glean she's getting rigorous treatment that is making her feel worse than the cancer. Despite her painful and intense regimen she believes her cancer is spreading, growing. I was emotionally devastated to read this. While I complain about the pains caused by my growing miracle baby, she is bravely sharing the story of the death growing in her body, trying to steal her from her children. Perspective can be a harsh lesson. My gratitude grew instantaneously but also my desire to storm the gates of heaven with a prayer that wasn't for me. This complete stranger felt like a sister to me in that moment of desperate prayers. As I just yesterday prayed for my new baby to be safely separated from my body, I frantically prayed that this young mother would not be separated from her babies. Whatever His plans for this stranger, I am so thankful that her story pulled me out of my own selfishness yesterday. I hope I keep this perspective as long as I live. I am so blessed with my health and the good health of my children.

Pregnant Amnesia

It's official: I am THAT pregnant. For the fourth time. Everyone says we Mums get blissful ignorance of the details from prior labors (somewhat true), but for me the amnesia starts around 7 months pregnant. As my Hubby can attest I'm whining about aches and pains at 38 weeks like this was the first time and I didn't see it coming. Four pregnancies in I've seen pretty well all my body's going to deal with so it's actually pretty funny to catch myself hastily searching on google to make sure I'm not in labour as each new symptom arises. I have also caught myself saying meaningfully to Hubby that I think this baby might be coming soon. Hubby is unfazed. He's been through this before too and lucky for both of us he can remember all these details. He easily remembers that the earliest I've gone into labour is 41+ weeks. That being said he still is having his own pre-baby nerves but he's clearly keeping his frantic crib assembly and googling of symptoms to himself. He has found very calm and casual ways to ask how the baby is positioned (very low by the way. When I walk I look like I'm trying to shoplift a watermelon between my legs), how my feet feel (puffy and sore) and if I've had any increase in mucus (I'll spare you the details. Haha). I know he's being mindful of all these details as he helps me remember every complaint for our doctor's appointments. I may have pregnant amnesia but luckily Hubby is still sharp as a tac.

Now, it's time to google how many times a night it's normal to have to pee....

Why my Husband is an Amazing Father

In honour of Father's Day, my gift to the love of my life is a little list of why I'm proud that he's the Father to my children. It's not much, sweetheart, but I want you to have it, in writing on the internet where it will stand as a testimony to your dedication and love for our children.

1. Pregnancy: Every time we see that positive test your first reaction is joy. None of this can we afford it business. You love to sing, talk to, and lovingly poke my belly from day 1. Our babies are whole and lovable in your heart before they can hear you (let alone see you). I will always cherish the memory of you rocking out on your guitar on my belly when we were pregnant with H. And the way she did a full jumping jack kick for you on Father's Day. Don't get me started on the fact that you would be a complete slave to my whims during pregnancy if I asked. I do my best not to take advantage too much but I appreciate your completely self-giving love always bookended by comments about it being the least that you can do, what with me carrying our baby and impending labour.

2. Labour: I couldn't ask for a better supporter and partner during labour. If you could push for me you would. You are my advocate when I'm too out of it to care, and quietly do everything you can to make me feel as comfortable as possible. You're also fearless. Despite early indications that you would stay at my head during the tough parts, you always jump in to hold my feet, hold a mirror, give important progress reports, all while whispering constantly in my ear how much you loved me, how proud you are and how gorgeous our baby will be. Then, when baby finally pops out you proudly announce gender and cut the cord. After a quick cuddle with Mommy I'm proud to watch you hold our little baby, bundled up warmly. You're the first thing baby sees and I can't imagine a warmer, more loving welcome to the family!

3. Parenting: You aren't afraid of the nitty gritty. You change diapers, give baths, wipe up spit-up (and wear it) and are always handy to give me a break during those rough nuthouse days. You are all the kids' first words and you earned it. Even though you work 7-5 M-F, when you're here they are your world. You play every game, no matter how silly (or how tired and achy you are). You are the boo-boo kisser, the toy fixer, the cuddler, the tickler, the listener, the cheerleader, and according to the talking crowd, the best best friend. Ever. I love that you can be firm and help with discipline, but also know when to be gentle when I've spent my day being severe. You are always the perfect balance to me as a parent and I thank you for following my lead as much as you lead the way. You trust our kids and always want to see them have new adventures. You are a perfect example for our boys but are also never too busy to dance with your Cinderella. (I promise I won't tell anyone you play dollies and tea party, although I find it totally charming). You are not just a Father, you are a Daddy. And a darn good one.

4. Us: What makes you not just a good Father but an amazing one (besides all the stuff I already said) is how much you love me. The kids can't help but feel secure in our family because they will never have a reason to doubt your love and fidelity to me. Although we argue like everyone else, we always make a point to make-up in front of the kids. Affection comes naturally in front of their watchful eyes. They also see that even though you work all day you jump right in and help me with any task I have going. I'm proud that our children will see in us a marriage of equals, friends, and most of all two people who are more in love each day. You also joyfully share faith with us. Our faith is what brought us together and you have made a point to let it grow in us as a couple and as a family.

The best thing any parent can offer their child is emotional security, support for their dreams, real and trusting faith, and unconditional love. In front of my eyes, I watched you become all these things the day we saw those two little lines on our first positive pregnancy test. I feel privileged to have witnessed you welcome each of children and become their Daddy. Thank you for sharing with me a life worth celebrating in a way worthy of our many gifts.

I love you. Happy Father's Day!

Moved

After months of waiting we finally moved into my parents' old house. Life is ever changing and I think always for the better. We payed movers, which made life so much easier, but then promptly got to the work of ripping up the million year old carpet on the main level ourselves. A week and a half later, with the help of hubby's Dad, almost all the new laminate is down. We also discovered that the stairs are read solid wood stair-tread underneath. With a little TLC they can be returned to their natural glory. We've discovered some mold (from a leak that a previous contractor swore up and down he fixed), some questionable plumbing (no Mom, duct tape is not the answer to a mis-matched pipe for the sink. Nice try!), and an some trim in the living room that is painted no less than 3 colours in our pumpkin orange living room. I feel like hubby and I are finishing up a lot of half-started projects my parents had once dreamed but never had the time to get to, but in our own way. My parents finally have their dream house, and we, many years younger, have the bare bones of ours and the will and talent (though maybe not the cash flow all the time, haha) to create ours. We're doing our best to make lots of little improvements where we can to make our home our own. Thanks to my parents we have some leftover flooring from their (dare I say gorgeous???) renovations that will help us over the next year to have many full weekends doing over hallways and bathrooms without any financial cost to ourselves. The living room and dining room (which are attached) are getting all the real attention as we want it safe and ready for our kids, playdates and some dinner parties with dear friends we sorely missed.

While our house is blossoming around us, it's hard to ignore that the kids are blossoming too. With more room to roam and bigger bedrooms their imagination and creativity are growing faster than my belly. This is going to be a great summer. We're finally next to a big, useable park that they can just run their wild energy off in, we're walking distance to the library, and best of all we're a 5 minute drive from the greatest friends a family could ask for. I'm also closer to many old friends and some new ones just down the street. Our beautiful, friendly, little neighbourhood from the past 2 years was perfect for our family before, but this is starting to feel right now. Already we've seen more of our friends than we did for months on end at our old home. The visits from my boys' future wives (just kidding!) and my girl's best friends and their parents, truly great friends to us, has made this not just my parents' old house, but our home. Once everything is unpacked and set up I can't imagine how much more comfortable we'll feel!

And then there's the other matter of our marriage! After some struggles to figure out what our family would become, I find myself closer emotionally than ever with my dear husband. He's been working himself to exhaustion day and night to bring home the bacon, and then he works nights and weekends to make good of our renos. His father has been no less than a saint helping him lay down the flooring and I can't thank him enough. I have the best intentions, but being ponderously pregnant I'm about as useful as a bag of hammers with our renos. So, thanks to Hubby's Dad! Meanwhile hubby himself has been quietly doing his best to accomplish the hundreds of necessary little tasks to makes this all work. While I sit in the recliner complaining about Braxton-hicks he's got an open ear while he plods away taking out an outdated and useless closet he will make into a hutch/display cabinet/toy storage. I love him more in his quiet dedication to our home and our family. He is truly the King of our family, and it shows in the eyes of our children. He is now the preferred parent for boo-boos, story time, and play time. Being big and preggo this of course suits me fine. Seeing our wee boy reach up with little squeals of "Da! Da!" is the finest moment of any day. We are so blessed to be a family.

After a lot of rambling I'm left with the profound sense of how blessed I am. Blessed with shelter, family, friends and a wonderful marriage. My complaints and rants (trust me, I've had a few) are overwhelmed by my sense that Providence has always been with us and always will be. With God so clearly leading us through our sorrows to constant joy we will surely be fine!

Mexican Steak in the Crockpot

Don't have a crockpot? You don't know what you're missing! Get yourself out there and pick one up because they are ridiculously cheap considering all the delicious masterpieces you can make. My favourite part is of course that a lot of the best recipes are a matter of dumping ingredients and leaving them to stew or hours. A busy Mom's dream! Here's a recipe I threw together this week that provided us 2 nights of delicious meals! The kids and hubby were crazy for it!

Ingredients
Pam Cooking Spray
Steak (enough to cover the bottom of your crockpot)
1/2 cup worchestershire sauce
1 can fresh corn (drained)
1 can black beans (drained and rinsed)
1 package Uncle Ben cheese & broccoli rice (prepared)
1 can italian spice diced tomatoes (not drained)
Salt, pepper & chili powder to taste

Spray inside of your crockpot with Pam cooking spray. Lay steaks to cover the bottom of your crockpot. Pour 1/2 cup worchestershire sauce on top. Now dump and spread the cans of corn and beans over your steak. Next layer is your cooked Uncle Ben's Cheese and Brocolli rice. After you've spread that around top it off with the Italian spice diced tomatoes with their juices. Turn your crockpot on high for four hours. If it starts smelling really hot near the end you can draw the steak to the top and stir the sides together and then let it finish. When the time's up extract your steaks and serve your layers of veggies and rice as a side. That's your whole meal in one pot! Delicious and creamy! We compared it to a sort if Mexican risotto because the rice absorbed all the extra juices. Enjoy!

Introductions First

My plan for this blog is for it to be an outlet for some of my creative energies. As a Mom of 3 and pregnant with our 4th I spend a lot of my time at home creating, teaching and, most of all, learning. Parenthood is an act of creation I've been blessed to share 4 times now. I want to share what I've learned, even if it's just into the empty space of the Internet. If nothing else to remind myself of all the small victories (and let's be honest, failures). Recipes, crafts, parenting experiences and whatever else comes along. This will also be littered with my interests outside of my brood. I'm a wife too, not to mention a woman. Not every book I read is a board book and Dora isn't the only show I've been known to watch. This mix will probably be eclectic, but whose life isn't a beautiful jumble of puzzle pieces? Let's see if I can make a masterpiece out of all these different parts.