I had one of those days yesterday when everything felt off. The kids were being fine, but I just didn't feel myself. Part of me recognized that this is just my body getting ready for labour which had me nervous, excited and slightly exhausted (already). After a day of feeling sorry for myself I was checking my twitter feed where I saw a blog being passed around by some people I followed. Often times Moms will retweet the blog postings of Moms in need of some encouragement. Usually these blogs are the product of post partum depression or just one of those days that we all have when we feel inadequate. I read them because I've felt overwhelmed in my life too and feel compelled to encourage these young, sleep-deprived Moms. We don't live in tight knit communities like we used to so the Internet is the new way to share, encourage, and vent. A simple status update on Facebook, tweet on Twitter, or blog post can remind us in seconds that we have a world wide community willing to encourage us and give us some much needed perspective.
But this blog was different. It was a young Mom in a situation I couldn't fathom: She's battling cancer. From what I could glean she's getting rigorous treatment that is making her feel worse than the cancer. Despite her painful and intense regimen she believes her cancer is spreading, growing. I was emotionally devastated to read this. While I complain about the pains caused by my growing miracle baby, she is bravely sharing the story of the death growing in her body, trying to steal her from her children. Perspective can be a harsh lesson. My gratitude grew instantaneously but also my desire to storm the gates of heaven with a prayer that wasn't for me. This complete stranger felt like a sister to me in that moment of desperate prayers. As I just yesterday prayed for my new baby to be safely separated from my body, I frantically prayed that this young mother would not be separated from her babies. Whatever His plans for this stranger, I am so thankful that her story pulled me out of my own selfishness yesterday. I hope I keep this perspective as long as I live. I am so blessed with my health and the good health of my children.