Baby 5: Week 26

How Far Along: 26 Weeks (14 weeks to go!)

How I'm Feeling: It's been snowing here, so I've been finding it tough to get out of the house too much these days. It's not that my belly is so huge that I can't get past the snow banks, but it sure is tough to push the tandem stroller on barely shovelled side walks. Excluding a few very necessary excursions, I've been doing my best to stay close to home. Other than that my husband has been driving us as he can. Baby boy is pushing up into my lungs, so I'm finding it tough to manage walking up and down the stairs too frequently. I'm also finding that the energy I was so enjoying is only coming in spurts now. When I've got it, I feel free. When I don't have the energy, I'm starving. Such is the life of pregnancy!

What I'm Thinking: Today I was at the Baptism for a friend's baby, and I was also fortunate the stand in as a sponsor for a young Mother who needed a faithful Catholic as a Godparent for her baby girl. This beautiful event reminded me that my baby boy is growing just below my heart, already a unique, unrepeatable person with his own soul breathed in by God. The responsibility to pray for him and bring him to God even now was a beautiful weight on my heart today. I feel so blessed that God has chosen to entrust us with five little souls to direct towards His endless love.

What I've Done This Week: I'm impressed that we managed to get through the weather bomb that hit the eastern seaboard without even losing our power. Beyond that, I've managed to cook meals for the whole family that everyone loved seven days in a row. In my exhausted pregnant mind, I'm winning. I also managed to get my testing done for gestational diabetes on Friday. Not my favourite thing in the world, but I'm happy I got it done. I bought some yarn at the craft store while I was waiting, and found time on Saturday to knit the little man a hat. My feeling of accomplishment is pretty high this week.
 

What I Hope To Do Next Week: Sounds silly, but beyond surviving, I'm hoping to learn how to crochet this week. I have quite a bit of yarn around that I'm hoping I can use to crochet a cute blanket for baby boy, and hopefully some cute items for the big brothers and sisters too.

Baby 5: Week 13

How Far Along: 13 Weeks (27 weeks to go!)

How I'm Feeling: The nausea is still there, but is very mild. It has been replaced for the most part by excessive hunger. When I don't eat small meals throughout the day (plus snacks), I get so weak I can barely stand. So yeah, I've been eating all day. Poor me. haha!

What I'm Thinking: The ultrasound has come and gone. As my regular readers read on my blog on Thursday, we are blessed with (only) one beautiful, active, and perfect baby. You may have noticed our due date skipped 2 weeks ahead. We figured our dates must have been off because our hormone test came back with very high results for our original date. Since we had the ultrasound my mind has started focusing on the reality of this one, precious little wonder growing inside of me. We could already see so much of this new baby's personality at a mere 12 weeks. What a lively child so full of interest and so feisty! I'm so excited to meet him or her in another 27 or so weeks.

What I've Done This Week: The ultrasound was the big thing. Since then we've been refining the names we've picked, and praying hard about who the Godparents should be. It's a tough choice when we have around us so many beautiful people who we know would be a perfect fit. We're really trusting this one to God! The great things is that we hope to have more babies, so eventually we'll probably get to invite our other precious friends into our family as Godparents for those babies.

What I Hope To Do Next Week: I'm going to start knitting little things like hats and sookie blankets for the baby, as well as some Christmas gifts for the big kids. Time is flying!

Ladies Night Out

I should preface this by saying that I don't get out often. Pretty close to never in fact. I'm lucky enough to have a lady friend who knows the value of time as a woman, instead of just as Mommy, and this lovely lady has been so kind as to encourage me to get out. She adds kindness upon kindness by organizing outings and even coming to get me to make it as easy as possible for me to take a night for myself. I even blogged about the sweet freedom of getting out with her before. She is a true blessing, and a saint in disguise (though barely disguised, her holiness emanates like the rays of the sun!).

Before she and I became good friends I literally never got out without the kids. I'm definitely an emotionally attached mother. I find it incredibly hard to leave the house, even when they're all asleep. The world can get really insulated when you let your kids become your everything and don't allow yourself the freedom to take time for yourself. For the past four or so years I've been that woman, the one who's %100 Mom. I thank God for bringing a friend into my life who could lead me by her fine example to become more than a Mom. If not, I can only imagine where I'd be now. Probably a lonely, burnt-out Mama without any energy to give to my children, let alone my sweet husband, anymore. I was nearly there when my dear friend started dragging me out of the house. Now, I'm actually attracting compliments for how easy I make it look to have four kids, which is thanks in no small part to the fact that I've re-discovered the woman who is the foundation of the wife and mother with the help and encouragement of my friend.

As little as an hour at night doing something for myself reminds me that under the spit-up, cooking splatter, and possibly funky smell, there is a woman worth fighting for. If I can show my children that I value myself enough to take care of myself, then hopefully they'll follow that example and remember to pursue their passions and interests even in the middle of life's important duties. I don't want my kids to look at me in 10 years and think that I gave up my entire life for them. I want them to look and see that getting married and having my children enriched my life, gave me purpose, but didn't swallow up all my dreams and potential. If I lose myself in my desire to be everything for my children, I'm afraid when they leave to live their own lives, I won't know how to define myself outside of them. I'm afraid I'll be grasping after the little birds as they try to fly, rather than lifting them up and teaching them to soar. The knowledge that I have a future without them makes me want to make the most of this time with them, because it truly is fleeting, even with four children to enjoy. While I nuture my little blessings, I plan to continue to follow the good example of my friend and I will nuture myself too so I can continue to grow into the woman God intends me to become.

Freedom

Baby girl is now 5 months old. I have to admit, I'm pretty excited about this. She's really sleeping through the night now, and is even going to bed at a reasonable hour. I'm actually getting time with my husband without having to speak quietly so as not to disturb the delicate balance of breastfeeding and conversation. I even got out for a ladies night last night. We got together for coffee and had a good knit, because that's how we roll. Baby girl was home, snuggled in her bed, snoozing. According to hubby there wasn't so much as a whimper from her.

Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed every sweet second of near constant snuggles, bonding and adoring my new little wonder. I wouldn't trade a second of that time for all the coffee in Columbia (although I doubt there's much coffee left as I have been consuming it in massive quantities). That being said, I can't help but rejoice in this new stage. Baby girl is so much more independant. She enjoys being down on the floor with her siblings in the thick of things. Especially now that youngest boy isn't trying to sit on her. During the day I've been free to do more than supervise the older kids. I've been able to get up and dance with them, build with them, draw with them, and just be a Mom to them instead of a voice trapped in a chair. I can tell the kids enjoy the difference too. It's nice to remember motherhood changes with each stage of life. We grow with our babies.

With all this extra time and energy I'm already plotting so many little projects. Mostly it's knitting projects, but also my old stand by of baking and cooking. I'm pretty sure you'll be seeing a few more crockpot recipes here from me in the future. That and a few more ladies nights to get my creative energies flowing in the company of my sweet lady friends. I'm also looking forward to the idea of a date night with my darling husband some time soon. We've had a rough couple of weeks and I'd love the chance to reconnect with him. Oh sweet sweet freedom. Dream away, baby girl. Mama has a few sweet dreams in store for herself too.